Have you heard the news, Mabel?? Our children are out there sex-telephoning on their BlackPhones! But they’re using a secret language only other textual-messaging fornicators can understand! They are calling it “sexting” and they are hiding it from us. It’s like actual sex, but even worse!
Local news website myFoxAtlanta, though, has helpfully cracked the secret sexting code being used by all these deviant sex-desirous teen-agers. And they’ve released a list of the top acronyms, so that parents can know! For instance “GYPO” means “Get Your Pants Off.” And, as we’ve all suspected, “FMLTWIA” is “F*ck Me Like the Whore I Am.” Try these new sexcronyms on your friends. The best of them, plus an actual conversation between teenagers using the sex code, after the jump.
8 = Oral sex. (I could have sworn we already had an easy numeric abbreviation for this act.)
143 = I love you.
459 also = I love you.
But! 182 = I hate you.
1174 = Nude club. (I thought only old couples in Florida went to those?)
CD9 or Code 9 = Parents are around.
Banana = Penis.
Penis = Harmonica. (Speculating on that one.)
FB = F*ck Buddy.
FOL = Fond of Leather.
IAYM = I Am Your Master.
IF/IB = In the front or in the back.
IIT = Is It Tight?
IMEZRU = I Am Easy Are You?
POS = Parent Over Shoulder OR Piece of Shit.
TDTM = Talk Dirty to Me.
P911 = Parent alert!!!
Q2C = Quick to Cum. (Why would you want to advertise this?)
NALOPKT = Not A Lot of People Know That. (This one’s just good for shooting the breeze.)
Ok! Here’s an example of actual teen people using sexting codes.
Joseph: Hi Tina, wuts up?
Tina: NM, u?
Joseph: NM. 143. u want to 8 my banana?
Tina: IIT?
Joseph: Wut? That makes no sense. IAYM.
Tina: I see ur point. FMLTWIAIF/IB!
Joseph: I’d love to, but I have to dash – reservations for 6:30 at the 1174.
Tina: Don’t 4get to GYPO!
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